


Muggle Biology

by ThatGinger0ne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Fred and George are clueless, Human Biology, Menstruation, Muggle Technology, Self-Harm, Short & Sweet, Sickfic, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29594997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatGinger0ne/pseuds/ThatGinger0ne
Summary: Fred and George are horrified by learning about periods and muggle methods of dealing with them so decide experimental magic is the way to go.This is a comfort fic, the warning is only there as a SH trigger warning for one scene, I will put a warning at the beginning of chapter 2 to remind people.
Relationships: Fred Weasley/George Weasley/Reader, George Weasley/Reader
Kudos: 73





	1. What do you think I was doing?

You hadn't exactly hoped to deal with your period at The Burrow, but considering you had been there most of the summer holidays, it was bound to happen eventually.  
Luckily you had packed in preparation, stashing a box of tampons in your suitcase along with the rest of your toiletries. What you hadn't planned on, however, was being in a house of mostly boys with two very nosy and very involved best friends.  
It was the older of your two very nosy best friends that had knocked on the toilet door as you were in a compromising position and had been on the receiving end of you snapping rather aggressively back at him to 'piss off'.

When you had finished changing what needed changing and were back downstairs, you were greeted by both of the redheaded nuisances.  
"Are you alright?" George frowned, tilting his head a little as he looked you up and down. Naturally, he would be the one to find it concerning that you had snapped at Fred, rather than take his side. The other boy, however, just looked annoyed.  
"I was just asking if you wanted to play gobstones, you didn't have to bite my head off," He muttered, pushing his hands into his pockets, but followed up with. "Is something the matter?"  
"I'm fine," You sighed, tiredly, as you wandered off towards the kitchen to make yourself tea. You were cramping very badly and honestly, were not in the mood to put up with the two of them at the same time.  
"You don't look fine," George frowned, following close behind you. "You look really pale, and you slept in this morning,"  
"that's not like you," The older twin agreed.  
"Look, I'm just not feeling great, I'll be fine in a few days," You mumbled, still not turning to look at them. You knew they meant well, but Fred and George could be very overwhelming at the best of times, and part of you feared what their reaction might be if they knew your current situation, they weren't the most mature.

"Mum's good at quick remedies," The younger man offered, wrapping a long arm round your waist, the warmth feeling good against your back. You unconsciously leaned into him as you boiled the kettle. "I'm sure she'd be able to help," Your heart ached to listen to him, he was such a sweetheart, unlike his bastard of a twin that was currently leaning on the counter beside you.  
"It's not something that can be helped, It's my time of the month," You finally admitted, allowing George to take the mug from your hands and finish your tea for you. "I didn't mean to snap at Fred,"  
"Why did you snap at me?" The man in question asked flatly, watching you turn to frown at him.  
"I was concentrating on doing something and didn't appreciate you bugging me in the bathroom," You whined, taking your tea from George and sitting down at the kitchen table.  
"What were you concentrating on?" Fred pressed, getting worryingly close to pushing your buttons.  
"What do you think I was concentrating on?" You huffed, "Considering the information I've just given you," But Fred continued, seemingly still oblivious to what you were getting at.  
"Do you have an upset stomach?" He questioned, "Mum can help you with that; George is right, she's good at that kind of stuff,"  
"No, I don't have-" You groaned, shaking your head, "Fred, I'm on my period,"  
The blank expression on the twin's faces was beginning to confuse you now. You knew boys wouldn't be the most clued up on menstrual problems, but they had a sister and a mother; Surely they knew the basics?  
"Do you know what happens when someone's on their period?" You asked quietly, still unsure if this was some elaborate ruse.  
"Honestly, not really," George admitted, grabbing your attention. "Mum's mentioned it once or twice, mainly telling us to leave Ginny alone when she's on hers,"  
"She did not like mum telling us that" Fred added.  
"No, she got really embarrassed and stormed off upstairs,"  
"Which leads me back to my question," The older twin sighed, sitting down heavily beside you, and resting his elbows on the table. "What were you so focused on you shouted at me?"

You slowly hid your face in your hands and groaned, feeling the last shreds of your sanity slipping away. It was worse than you thought, they really were clueless, and now they wanted you to teach them biology. You peeked between your fingers at George who shared his brother's confused expression and couldn't help but laugh out of sheer exhaustion.  
"You want me to tell you about periods?" You muttered grimly, watching them nod. "Okay, I snapped at you because I was busy changing my tampon,"  
"We don't know what that is," They replied together.  
"Fantastic," You chuckled, shaking your head. "What do you know?"  
"That it's called a period," George admitted, glancing between you and his brother.  
"Excellent," You winced, looking between the two before starting at the beginning. "When someone is on their period, they bleed for a week-"  
"Bleed?" Fred blinked.  
"For a week?" George continued.  
"Yes, for a week," You quickly cut in, not wanting their twin echo sentence nonsense to go any further. "It's all to do with our reproductive organs, our bodies get ready to be pregnant for a month, and if we don't get pregnant, all the blood and stuff that's built up inside our uteruses sheds and all comes out,"  
"That sounds grim," Fred smirked, George quickly reaching behind your back to smack him. "I mean for her to put up with! So where does the blood come out?"  
"Where the fuck do you think it comes out?" You whined, covering your face again. But when the room fell into an uncomfortable silence, you realised they were still waiting for an answer. "I'm bleeding out of my vagina,"  
"Does it hurt?" George asked, worry clear in his voice. His concern was adorable, unlike the wide-eyed stare of Fred as he absorbed all of this new information. You had never seen him show this much interest in class, why couldn't he just ignore you and draw in his notebook now?  
"Yeah, it hurts like hell," You admitted, finally picking up your mug and taking a sip of your tea. "But not down there, it's more around my abdomen that hurts, the muscles cramp up really badly,"  
"Is that why you're so sensitive?" Fred asked, earning a warning look from his brother. But to your surprise, the older twin then placed a hand on your lower back and leaned in a little closer.   
"I'm sorry for bugging you," he sighed, making your irritated expression soften. You had to admit Fred wasn't all bad, he just had less of a filter than George; You loved them both dearly even if they did drive you to insanity...

"You also have a ton of weird hormones going through your body that makes you have mood swings, nausea, tons of unpleasant stuff," You explained, enjoying the warmth of his large hand through your pyjama top.  
"This all sounds awful," George frowned, his hand joining his brothers to rub small circles against your back. "Isn't there anything you can do to help it?"  
"Heat helps," You admitted, your eyes falling shut as pleasant tingles ran up and down your body. "That soup your mum made last night was wonderful,"  
"I think she saved some. I'll check," Fred mumbled, getting to his feet and disappearing into the garden. Meanwhile, George's hand had disappeared under your pyjama top, his rough palm causing goosebumps to break out across your arms.  
"So if it lasts a week, how many days are left of your period?" He asked, leaning in a little closer.  
"It started last night," You explained, smiling up at him. The rare moment of quiet was quickly ruined by Fred rejoining the two of you.

"She said she would come and heat some up for you, and to stop bugging you," He announced, sitting back at the table.  
"I can't believe you two didn't know about them," You muttered, wrapping your hands round your mug to warm your hands. "They teach us about it in muggle school,"  
"Yeah, well," Fred shrugged, "Our mum taught us before we went to Hogwarts, and it's not exactly something we have to go through, so I don't think she saw the point,"  
"I think it's more to do with having to teach you two than anything else," You couldn't help but smirk, glancing back at George who gave you a dramatic pout.  
"You still haven't told us what a tampon is?" Fred remembered, causing you to whine again. 

It was exhausting enough to try and explain periods in a way they would understand, let alone explain sanitary products to them. After a few minutes of hiding your face and considering your options, you got to your feet, leaving them in the kitchen as you made your way up to Ginny's room. You retrieved a tampon from your bag and snapped your case shut before joining the boys back at the table. You glanced between the two, deciding George to be the lesser of two evils as you grabbed his hand.  
"I need you to model it for me," You explained, placing his pointer finger and thumb together, turning so Fred could see. "This is a tampon," You explained, opening the small package and opening it up for them to see. You then inserted the cardboard applicator between George's fingers, pushing the tube down and wedging the cotton between his other fingers before removing the cardboard tube. "That's what I was doing," You sighed, grabbing your now lukewarm tea and finishing it off.  
Fred and George stared in disbelief, the younger of the two inspecting the wadded up cotton before looking back up at you.  
"But why?" He mumbled as Fred took it from him.  
"It soaks up the blood," You sighed, closing your eyes to try and finally escape this conversation, but Fred continued.  
"How much blood comes out of you if you need to pack yourself with gauze?" He chuckled, glancing up at his brother. "This is what you'd find in a first aid kit,"  
"There's quite a bit of blood," You admitted as you placed your mug down, missing the warmth of their hands now as your cramps kicked in again. "You have to change them every few hours too or you'll die,"  
"What?!" The boys snapped, turning to stare at you.  
"Yeah, it's like gauze, if you don't change it the bacteria builds up and you can get an infection," You explained, strangely starting to enjoy the look of horror on their faces now.

"Merlin, that's awful," George muttered, placing his hand on your back again. "I'd shout at people too,"   
The thought of the twins PMS-ing being too much for you as you finally gave up, collapsing heavily on the table.   
"No wonder mum tells us to leave Ginny alone,"  
"But this is the muggle way of dealing with it, right?" Fred mumbled, looking back at his brother. "There has to be a better way of dealing with it?"  
"I don't know," George frowned, taking the tampon and inspecting it again. "I can think of several potions that would help, but we'd need to go to Diagon Alley for some of the ingredients,"  
"It's still early," Fred shrugged, glancing at the clock. "Y/n can stay here and have soup, and we'll go get what we need,"  
"Guys, it's fine," You sighed wearily, your head still resting on the table. "I'd rather you not blow up the garden brewing remedies for periods,"  
"Oh hardly, most healing potions are basic," George smirked, getting to his feet. "You just stay here and rest up, and we'll be back later,"  
"I'm going to regret telling you this for the rest of my life, aren't I?" You whimpered, watching as Fred followed him to the fireplace.


	2. Experimental Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !TRIGGER WARNING! There is a form of self harm in this chapter, if this is something that you are not comfortable with, my apologies.

Shortly after their departure, Molly came in from the garden, carrying an armful of vegetables with a worried look on her face.  
"Where have those two wandered off to?" She tutted, dropping them into the sink to wash.  
"They've gone to Diagon Alley to buy potion ingredients," You groaned, still lying on the kitchen table.  
"Merlin's beard, what potion?" She frowned, rubbing your back a few times before grabbing her leftover soup from the fridge.  
"I haven't got a clue. I explained periods to them, and the next minute they were off to buy ingredients," You mumbled, forcing yourself into a sitting position to be polite. "I told them you wouldn't be too pleased,"  
"I shudder to think what they're planning," Their mother muttered, busying herself with the cooker. "Go and sit down in the living room, I'll bring the soup through to you when it's ready,"  
And with that, you were ushered to the other side of the house, where you collapsed on one of the sofas. The sudden change of position did nothing to soothe your cramps, but being able to deflate into a more comfortable position quickly took your mind off it.

A short while later, Molly re-appeared with a bowl of soup and some homemade bread, telling you to rest up before the boys got back.  
She had been thankful for you staying at the Burrow over the summer; keeping them out of her and their sibling's hair while they waited for the new school year to start. You managed to put a stop to most of their more destructive plans, usually convincing them to visit Diagon Alley or teaching them muggle subjects.  
You sat for a while and admired Molly as she did the housework, charming various household items to complete chores for her. The thought of Molly raising the twins, let alone the rest of them was mind-blowing. Her patience and love were saint-like, and to accept strangers from their kid's school as one of her own was almost too much to process.  
You thought about your own family for a moment, quickly forcing the thought from your head as you finished off your soup.  
It had warmed you thoroughly, your full stomach and the soft pillows lulling you to sleep before you could realise.

Before you knew it, there was a hand on your shoulder, gently nudging you awake.  
"y/n?" You heard George whisper. You couldn't help but note how wonderful the man smelled, like warm fruit and spices. You slowly opened your eyes to see him crouched beside you, smiling down at your sleepy expression. "Hey, how are you feeling?"  
All you could do was hum contently, reaching up to take his hand. You watched as his smile faltered slightly, the faintest of blushes creeping up his neck.  
"Fred's in the garden," He swallowed, his other hand coming up to play with your hair. "We've been back for a little while, but mum said to let you sleep,"  
"What time is it?" You finally muttered, glancing up at the clock.  
"It's around three," He replied, running his hand down your side to rest on your hip. "If you want to sleep, you can always go up to our room,"  
The thought of falling asleep on George's bed was heavenly, being engulfed in that smell.  
Suddenly, you caught yourself before your thoughts could slip any further. You forced yourself up from the sofa and groaned, shaking your head.  
"No, I've slept enough," You smiled, watching him stand to his full height, towering over you. "What did you two pick up?"  
"We've been working on a few things," He smiled, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Want to come and look?"  
"Sure thing," You hummed, allowing him to help you to your feet as you followed him into the garden.

Outside, the boys had set up a small cauldron which bubbled away quietly, the liquid inside was a vile shade of brown, and the smell of stewed fruit filled the air around them.  
"What on earth is that?" You blinked, sitting down beside the older twin.  
"We're not sure, but if we've brewed it correctly, it should be a cross between a wound-cleaning potion and euphoria elixir," George explained, sitting beside you.  
"I do hope you're not expecting me to drink that," You frowned, glancing over at what Fred was busying himself with. To your horror, the boy was tying together what looked like two or three cotton balls to a length of string.  
"that's not the intended use, no," He admitted, leaning over to inspect the potion. "I need the rest of the shrivelfigs now,"  
George turned to grab a handful of the sliced fruit that sat on a chopping board beside the cauldron, sprinkling in a handful and causing the potion to turn a brilliant shade of pink.  
"Right," Fred nodded, checking his notes, "Keep an eye on that now until it's orange,"  
"I know how to make the potion," His brother huffed, stirring in the ingredients. "Did you add the Bubotuber pus?"  
"Yes, that's what made it turn brown," Fred replied, reaching into his pocket to grab his wand. "Do you have the wormwood?"  
The younger redhead reached into their satchel and pulled out a small brown paper bag, when the potion finally began to turn orange, he poured in the contents, watching as it shimmered and bubbled into a glorious yellow.  
"I honestly don't know who you're expecting to test this out because it's not going to be me," You blinked, watching as Fred cast a cheering charm over the entire cauldron.  
"We don't test on anyone but ourselves first," George explained, grabbing the knife from the chopping board and wiping it down. You glanced back at Fred as he dipped the wadded up cotton into the liquid, squeezing out the excess before reaching out to his brother.  
George handed him the knife and sat back, drawing his wand in preparation for something.

You didn't have enough time to react as Fred took the knife, before digging it into his arm. You immediately reached out to grab his hand, but George restrained you, watching as Fred quickly pressed the saturated cotton against the wound, wincing a little as it seemed to hiss, but his face quickly softened, watching as small plumes of smoke rose from the cut.  
"Are you fucking mental?!" You snapped, finally jerking your hand from George's and smacking the older of the two.  
"We're just testing it out," George explained, leaning in to see the state of the wound now. "It doesn't seem to be reacting badly, how does it feel?"  
"It felt shit the first few seconds, but it's fine now. I can barely feel a thing," Fred grinned, turning to the two. "I feel fantastic,"  
"Alright, but is the cut alright?" George smirked, pulling the cotton away, seeing that it had soaked up a fair bit of blood already.  
"It feels alright," He nodded, inspecting the cut.  
"You're insane," You muttered under your breath, getting to your feet.  
"Wait," George said quickly, turning to look at you. "What's the matter?"  
"What's the matter?!" You snapped back, gesturing to his brother. "You're out here mutilating yourselves and you have the cheek to ask me what's the matter?"  
"We needed to test it out and we didn't want to ask you," George frowned, glancing at Fred.

You stared at the boys for a moment before sighing, they really were trying to help. You knew that in your heart, but the idea of Fred cutting his arm open to test something they didn't know would work was insanity. You looked back at the cut on his arm and frowned, it didn't look like it was reacting adversely, nor did he seem to be in any distress or pain. Maybe what they had made was a new magical remedy for periods?  
"I'm sorry," You muttered, shaking your head. "I'm sorry for getting upset; I got scared,"  
"It's fine, watch" George smiled, turning to tap his wand against Fred's arm. "Episkey,"  
You watched as the cut on Fred's arm quickly knitted itself back together, leaving no evidence of any injury behind. Part of you often forgot that there were magical remedies for minor injuries.  
"From the looks of things, it's all good to go," Fred smiled, looking up at you expectantly. It took a second to realise what the boys were getting at, but it finally dawned on you, and the thought of shoving a virtually untested potion up inside yourself was terrifying, but they had gone to all the trouble of trying to help and had even made sure it wasn't going to be damaging...  
You couldn't believe yourself as you turned to head back inside, once again retrieving a tampon from your bag and rejoining them outside.  
"I'm scared," You muttered, looking back down at them.  
"It'll be fine," George assured you, bottling up some of the potion.  
"Yeah, we can come in there with you if you need help," Fred smirked, earning a shove from his brother.  
"We'll be outside the door," He corrected, handing you the bottle. "If you need us, just shout,"

That was how you found yourself in the Weasley's bathroom with a tampon applicator in one hand and a small bottle of their terrifying concoction in the other.  
You sat down, removing your old tampon and disposing of it, before uncorking the bottle and giving it a sniff. It smelled of fruit and flowers, entirely medicinal. You slowly dripped the liquid into the applicator, watching it try and swell inside the small space. You didn't want to saturate it too much, settling for colouring the cotton a little.  
Then slowly, you sat back on the toilet seat and started to insert it.  
You had barely begun pushing the tampon inside yourself when it began to sting. You let out a cry of pain and the toilet door immediately rattled. But then the pain was suddenly gone, almost immediately replaced by what seemed to be a wave of pleasant heat spreading through your muscles. You removed the applicator and peered down at yourself, still terrified of the effects this might have on you.  
It took you a moment to realise there was a banging sound coming from the door. Remembering the boys were on the other side, you quickly cleaned yourself up and washed your hands, opening the door to two very concerned looking men.  
"Are you alright?" George muttered, looking you up and down. You almost couldn't fathom why they looked so concerned.  
"We heard you scream and then silence," Fred frowned, casting Lumos to check you over better. "We thought you'd died or something,"  
"No. I feel great," You beamed, reaching out to take George's hand. "wonderful even,"  
"How much did you use?" He frowned, lacing his fingers between yours.  
"Not a lot, but it seems to have done the trick," You hummed, towing him towards his room. You felt exhausted, despite being on cloud nine, your tired muscles could finally relax and you just wanted to curl up somewhere warm and rest.

Fred and George followed you silently, watching you collapse on George's bed and curl up against the pillows.  
"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" The younger twin muttered worriedly, sliding onto the bed beside you and observing your face.  
"I'm fine," You smiled, taking his hand once more. "I feel really good,"  
"You look like you're going to pass out," Fred frowned, sitting on his bed opposite you. "I really don't think sleeping is the best idea, just in case you react funny to it,"  
"I won't sleep," You assured them, pulling George even closer. "I just want to relax,"  
"You're a little too relaxed," The young man muttered, despite enjoying the attention. "Hopefully the effects ease up after a little while,"  
"Why?" You grinned, feeling him wrap his warm arms around you. "I feel amazing,"  
"So you keep saying," Fred smirked, watching the scene unfold in front of him. "I think we can call that a success, what do you think Georgie?"  
"I'd have to agree," He smirked, brushing a strand of hair out of your face.

The boys tried their best to keep you awake, but it was no use. Once you had convinced Fred to join the two of you, it was only a matter of time before the three of you were sound asleep.  
It was a bit of a sight for Molly to discover, but she left the three of you to rest, deciding that she'd have a go at the boys for the mess in the garden later.


End file.
